Apparently, Open Mics Are Killing Live Music

Recently, my attention was drawn (by my good friend and fellow open mic. host Graham Bellinger) to an article by an individual named Stuart Walker on the website GigsAndBands.com entitled ‘5 Reasons Why Open Mic. Nights Are Killing Live Music’.

The article can be read here: http://www.gigsandbands.com/5-reasons-why-open-mic-nights-are-killing-live-music/

It should come as no surprise that I, being an open mic. host, am just ever so slightly offended by this hatchet job of an article, which I shall now dismantle and critique with all the subtlety it deserves (spoiler: not much).

“Thinking of doing your stuff at an open mic night? Think again – Open mic nights are an ‘open’ invitation for musicians to be exploited and are leading to the death of  paid gigs. Don’t believe us? Well here’s 5 reasons why you should turn down the ‘opportunity'”

I’ll come back to this point about paid gigs later. Let’s look at these reasons.

“Reason 1 – they’re a bad advert for live music

One of the ‘joys’ of an open mic is that any old person can turn up with their penny whistle and strut their stuff. This means that your local pub is full of tone deaf half talented people who think they are the next Thom Yorke.

The problem then is that the watching punters think that’s what live music is like and act accordingly. If you thought that a proper music night was going to sound like an open mic would you go?

Of course not.

Even the well attended ones tend to attract exactly the same sort of performers. Who wants to listen to 12 chaps with guitars, one after another all singing their break up songs in the style of Bon Jovi?”

Let’s ignore the fact that Stuart is generalising heavily here by holding up the worst case scenario as standard and skip to the bit about “the watching punters think that’s what live music is like and act accordingly.”

So apparently, Stuart thinks people who go to open mic. nights have never experienced live music… ever. And apparently, they are too stupid to figure out that a night themed around letting people of different levels of ability, different genres and different age groups might not be indicative of live music in its entirety.

You presumably haven’t noticed this Stu old buddy, but the bulk of an open mic. audience is made up of performers and their friends, not people who’ve been living in isolation from the real world for the past 18 years and are now experiencing live music for the first time… and are now going to swear off it forever because they heard a slightly ropey version of a Bob Dylan song (Bob Dylan spent his entire career doing ropey versions of Bob Dylan songs and it never did him any harm).

You also don’t seem to make the connection between the type of audience open mics attract and why open mics usually take place in the week rather than the weekend. They’re a way to try and get a few more heads in on a quiet night, ie. nights when the regular punters aren’t there. The nights when punters are there tend to be the nights when professional acts are booked.

“Reason 2 – they are populated by a self elected elite

Open mics are in fact nothing of the sort. If you are a mate of the guy (and let’s be honest it’s usually a guy) running the night then you’ll get a great spot. If you’re not then you won’t.

New musicians feel intimidated by this macho clique and don’t bother turning up, or if they do then they don’t ask to go on the list as a refusal often offends.

If new people can’t get a place to play then the local paid scene starts to look stale and samey. End of scene.

Even worse you’ll find that a lot of the acts turn up, do their stuff then bugger off. They aren’t interested in anyone elses music or indeed anyone else unless they are likely to become fans.”

Contradiction alert: In his previous “point” (yes, I can make snarky use of quotes too), Stuart was dismissing open mic. nights due to the lack of talent of those who perform at them. Having done that, he’s now decided to cry “ELITISM!”

So, just to be clear, open mics that let anyone get up and have a go are shit because they aren’t selective enough and open mics that are too selective are shit because they won’t let just anyone get up and have a go.

Err… OK?

With regard to acts turning up, playing their stuff, then buggering off, Stu old chap, I shouldn’t have to tell you this given as you are an online music journalist, but that’s the underground scene in a nutshell!

Find me a band that hasn’t had the experience of playing on the bill with two or three other bands who all bugger off after playing their set, taking their gaggle of friends with them, leaving the remaining band to play to an empty room.

At least with an open mic. night, if this happens, it’s an audience loss of about three people, not thirty people.

Even then, in my experience (which is a lot in this area), people at open mic. nights tend to be pretty good at sticking around to watch the other acts. You get the odd person who has to leave early to get the bus, but for the most part, there’s a real community feel.

“Reason 3 – The money for a live act gets taken by the compere

The professional compere turns up, takes the money and gets the artists doing all the work whilst he regales the young student crowd with anecdotes of when he was on tour with AC/DC (as their laundry coordinator).

Why the hell should a failed musician get the money when the real work is being done by people who actually have some talent?

At the very least they should split the money with the people who stand up and perform. But really lets’ be fair 100,200 quid? Get four acts and give them £25-50 quid each at least.

Professional comperes suck money out of the business that should really go to hard working (and hard up) musicians. They are generally narcissistic and only in it for the money. Uninterested and unlikely to be particularly keen on what you’ve got to say unless you are telling them how great they are.”

Ooh… now we’re getting insulting.

Let’s firstly deal with this accusation of being a “failed musician”.

What exactly is a successful musician in your opinion, Stuart? Let me guess, someone you’ve heard on the radio or seen on the telly-box?

If that’s the case, allow me to educate you.

A successful musician is someone who earns a living through playing music, just as a successful writer is someone who earns a living through writing. The more astute of you will have twigged that I chose that particular analogy for a reason.

Stuart, do you not think you should garner yourself just a tad more success as a music journalist before you start taking it upon yourself to judge people of other professions as failures? I mean, here you are writing for a small time website with not much over 1000 likes on Facebook and you consider THAT to be an appropriate high-horse from which to be scoffing at people who run open mic. nights.

Now, the point about who does the “real work”.

Allow me to again educate you Stuart on what an average performer does compared to what a host does.

A host promotes the event beforehand; supplies the PA and other equipment; shows up at least an hour before everyone else to set up the PA and other equipment; opens the event; manages the list; plays guitar/bass/percussion/vocals/keys for any performers who require it (often on songs they’ve never played before); packs all this gear down at the end of the event…

An average performer shows up when they like, plays two or three songs and spends the rest of the night drinking and relaxing and leaves when they like.

Additionally, what the hell planet are you living on where open mic. hosts get paid anything like £200?!!! And if you think open mic. hosts get paid £200, how the hell can you categorise them as “failed musicians”? Most musicians would be lucky to earn that in a week, never mind in an evening.

We also have another glaring contradiction here, specifically saying that hosts are “only in it for the money” while simultaneously saying “Open mic nights are an ‘open’ invitation for musicians to be exploited and are leading to the death of  paid gigs.”

So musicians should be paid, but they shouldn’t be paid.

“Reason 4 – the brewery is taking the piss

Open mic night? Great. Do we get paid? no you are doing it for the exposure.

Wake up, you’re doing it for a multi national brewery chain. Forget the pretend antiques and old photos of the locality, the pub you are knocking your pipes out in is part of a conglomerate.

Ask them how many of the bar staff are doing it for the exposure. Ask them how many of the open mic acts are getting paid gigs as a result. Ask them which agents or managers or A&Rs have been invited along.

My bet is none.

You are being used as a method of channelling punter money into the coffers of a very rich corporation.

Ironically most of the money that ends up in a tax haven is in fact coming from the performers and the performers family themselves. See point 5″

You heard it here first folks, pubs put on entertainment because they’re trying to make money! I know! I was as shocked as you are. Here I was thinking pubs were not-for-profit charities devoted purely to the promotion of culture. I had absolutely no idea they were BUSINESSES.

Also, A&R scouts from major labels don’t spend all their time dossing around at open mic. nights?! My mind is officially blown Staurt. My mind is officially blown. Until now, I thought that people whose job it was to scout out original talent for multinational corporations and who could very easily find themselves unemployed very quickly if they prove to be not very good at it couldn’t keep away from pubs where people strum Beatles covers!

Additionally, why would you want there to be A&R scouts at such events? Musicians who are in it for the money are evil, remember?

“Reason 5 – They become background noise

One open mic night is interesting, two open mic nights are a scene, three hundred and seventy six open mic nights are just background noise.

Seriously though, how many OMN does a town need?

Having that many events not only turns punters off it ensures that the available talent pool is spread so thin that you can guarantee that at 20% of the nights they are trying to fill the space with anything they can get their hands on.

Jamming? Filling more like.

If you can’t get decent talent along to an open mic event then the likelihood is that there are too many in your town and the punters won’t bother turning up.

Check out the attendance – how many of the bored looking people are actually real life punters? How many are the drummers’ designated driver or the singers’ mum?”

So apparently, one open mic. night is interesting, even though this entire article has been an exercise in slating open mic. nights as some sort of monolith. Suddenly, by “point” 5, Stuart has decided he’s getting into nuance.

I shall double-down on a previous point I have made here, in regard to Stuart’s comment about the audience being made up of designsated drivers and mums… Stuart:

THAT IS THE FUCKING UNDERGROUND MUSIC SCENE IN A NUTSHELL!

You strike me as someone who is looking for a scape-goat. Someone who is looking to pin all your frustrations with live music onto something and have chosen open mic. nights. If they wanted to, someone with similar frustrations with the music press could do a similar hatchet job of your website. They could rant endlessly about how small independent music websites are killing the printed word. I imagine, Stuart, your defence would be similar to mine.

But wait…

The day after posting this article, Stuart posted a follow-up, which you can read here: http://www.gigsandbands.com/5-reasons-why-open-mic-nights-are-a-good-thing/

If you’re thinking this is all a bit Sam Pepper-esque, you’re not alone.

Now, I could go through this point by point, as I have with the previous article, but I shall not. I think this comment sums it up pretty well:

I completely agree with Catherine. Your first article, Stuart was obviously your opinion. This follow-up is the token “other-side”. The covering of your metaphorical arse.

I’m also not impressed that, as of writing, my comment is STILL pending approval:

Here’s a scenario for you Stuart:

Imagine I were to call you a hack writer who should actually try focusing on making a success of himself before presuming to accuse hard-working musicians of being lazy failures and who should actually try doing some research into the topic he is trying to cover rather than just pulling figures like £200 out of his arse and who should maybe learn the bare basics of how the music industry (both indie and corprorate) works before presuming to voice his opinions on anything to do with music…

… but after leaving you to stew on those words for an entire day, I tell you they were in jest and I actually think you’re a spiffing chap.

How would that make you feel?

In conclusion ladies, enbies and gents, GigsAndBands.com, is a site I very much DON’T recommend.